TRADITIONALLY an institution instigated and ordained by God where a man and a woman come together as one. Committing to one another, forsaking all others and devoting their lives to one another. The 2 becoming one working together and supporting and encouraging one another, and being there for one another. Being that helping hand to be the unswaying source of comfort and uplifting one another and consoling one another. Being the other Half, being the better half, and being the rock and refuge to go to and be there for when times are hard.
As the old saying goes, a dog is a mans best friend. Likewise in a marriage, the husband is the best friend to the wife, and the wife is the best friend to the husband.
Like the dog, when you come home, the dog is always without exception, whether you have had a great day or terrible day, does not matter whether you did a great job or a terrible job, the dog is always over joyed and over the moon always so very happy and excited to see you and know you are back. The dog is always glad to see you after you been away for a little while. And likewise how often is it that when you go to the front door to go anywhere that your dog wants to go with you, how much it loves going on walks with you, even though the dog wants to go at a faster pace and different directions, smell things you want to walk past, and mark its territory with Pmail ( you dog owners know exactly what i am talking about ). This is the love and support and encouragement our loved ones should always be for one another. When we come home or pick up our loved ones, it should always be a time of glad to see and be with your loved one again ( maybe not as excited as our dog is when they see us back after being away for a while, but glad none the less ).
In any relationship, we focus on marriage. a very wise person once said about a marriage which described the marriage as each person, both the man and the woman in the marriage should be there not for what they can get out of it for themselves, not as a slave servant who is to minister to all their whims and wants and etc, but a marriage is for someone who you want to devote your life to because you love them and you want to spend your life serving them and making the other person happy and helping them in the things they would like to do, to help and support and encourage the other person. Self sacrificing, and spending your life serving and helping and encouraging and supporting and defending the other person, your service of love and duty to the other person.
MARRIAGE, what do you see in the other person which makes you want to be with them to help them and support them and to be there for them ?
MARRIAGE, does the other person view you the same way that you view them ? is it mutually helping and encouraging and defending each other ? Is that other person truly wanting to devote their lives to being there to help and encourage you and to devote their lives to serving you as number one important person in their life ? Not to dominate, not to seek validation for themselves, not to be king or queen where you have the other person at your beck and call, and not to slander or defame or call names or abuse or threaten or control, which unfortunately is so prevalent these days and in many relationships.
The wise person once said about a marriage, which we will explore the true meaning of what this description of a marriage means afterwards.
Ephesians 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God. Devote yourselves to one another, you submit yourself to being the other person as to submitting yourselves in reverence to God, as you would devote your life to God, likewise in the same way submit yourself to your husband / wife. You show how you honour God by the way you honour your husband / wife, in the way you treat and respond to your husband / wife.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Ok this is where some people may start to take offence, but remember to read all the way to the end of this red and blue passages, But yes the wife is to be in full submission to her husband as to God himself. Think of it, if you were devoted to God and God told you to do this or do that or go here and say that, etc, you would do it right ? ( Yes ? / No ? ) you would honour and worship God right ? and do everything and anything to him, completely devote your life to doing anything God wants and demands and commands, right ? well yes this is exactly how the wife is to be towards her husband. Calm down feminist and women’s lib advocates, you may hate me for what I just posted here, but please do read to the end of this red and blue area.
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. The husband IS the head / boss of the wife. Similar to Book of Numbers 30:6-8 how the husband can validate or make void thw wife vowels which she has made, He is the head and boss of the woman, He is there to save her from vowels she may have made which are not wise vowls etc ( like a get out of jail free card – like a court over ruling a verdict ) for the betterment. sound a bit one sided right ? Is this making the woman a mans servant and slave ? yes or no ? continue reading for the answer.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Just as the church / messianic / body of believers in God are in subjects / ambassador’s and witness and in obedience and submission to God, so too are the wife is to be towards her husband, to treat their husbands as though he were the messiah himself.
But men, be careful before you think this is a great wicket to be on, because your rules of marriage are next, as to how you are to are to rule over your wives ( if you think ruleing over them is what its about, more is demanded / commanded of you.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, NOW THERE IS A BIG ONE ! ! ! Husbands love your wife just as CHRIST loved the church / body of believers / his people, WHAT did CHRIST do for his church ? he fed it, he healed it, he cared for it, he loved it, he did everything to help it, he gave of himself to the point that there was no more to give, and even then he gave more. Husbands just like Christ he is to do absolutely everything and anything in his power for her. Look at Christ example, whenever he was asked for something, he gave, he had compassion on the leper and the blind and the hungry and those who followed him and to those who asked of him of anything. HE loved the church so much that he bowed himself down and humble himself to serve his followers, even to the point of washing his followers feet, now its not saying we literally have to wash each others feet per sa, but he took on the position of the lowest position at that time of the lowest servant to do the lowest jobs and the least valued job in order to serve and help his followers, likewise husbands are to do the same for their wifes, so basically what the wife is doing for him, he should also be doing for his wife, and what even more, HE GAVE HIS LIFE FOR THEM ! !, Husbands are you willing to literally and willingly lay down your life for this woman who you willing to have as your wife ? She will live on but you will be dead, are you husbands willing to lay down your life in service to help your wife ? do you as a husband believe and are willing to literally sacrifice your life if the time may be needed ? This should be the willing commitment the husband should be willing to give to his wife if he wants to have a wife who would be submitting herself to you. Mutual full devotion to one another, to serve and help one another.
26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, That the husband would do everything and anything for his wife whatever it takes that she may appear upstanding and distinguished and presented in purity through the word of God.
27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Just like how Christ gave of himself and covered our sins by giving us his garments of righteousness and be presented before God as a holy royalty and peculiar people without blemish, husbands to likewise are to do all they can to help their wives be the beautiful renowned outstanding accomplished vision of beauty and respectability without fault.
28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Husbands look at what you would be willing to do for yourself, look at your life, your own life, what would you want to do for yourself, what lengths would you go to to meet your own needs and wants ? You would spend a fortune on your own health ? would you spend a fortune on the clothes you want and need, and on the foods you would want to eat ? Would you spend a fortune on the desired car you would want to get for yourself ? what would you be willing to do, and what great lengths would you do to in order to meet the needs you yourself have in whatever venture you would want to do ? even if you would spend $400 on football tickets, would you spend $20,000 on a dirt bike / buggie to go through the off road mountain tracks with your buddies ? What great lengths you would go to in order to fulfil these needs and wants and likes and desires you have. LIKEWISE HUSBANDS you are to go to the same great lengths, as well as the smaller ones like your favourite snack or drink for dinner, Husbands also to this great have towards their wives in devoting to their needs and wants and desires as if her desires and wants and needs were infact yours.
29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. This all nullifies the notion that your wife is a slave to respond to the mans every desire beck and call. Infact it is creating an environment in a marriage where each and both the husband and the wife are devoted servants to one another, to show love and support and encourage and help one another, no one greater than the other in master and slave, but mutually there for the help and benefit of the other. But like a captain of a great ship, the man is the head of the wife / family to make sure it is heading in a good right direction, not as a dominator, but a good steward guiding the ship on the best track.
30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.
31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” Just as it says in Mark 10:7-9 the 2 people will be one flesh, Although they are Physically 2, though essentially they are to act and behave and respond as though they are literally one body, Same as when the Messiah said in John 14:9-11 has the exact same meaning in John 17:21-23
32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Although he is speaking about Christ and the church, the application relationship is to be the same in relationship between a husband and the wife
33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. This is the application, as how a man is treating himself, what he would do for himself and his wants and needs and desires, he is to respond in like manner towards the wants and needs and desires of his wife, and likewise the wife is to respect her husband as how she would have respect towards God himself, she is to have the same respect towards her husband.
Lets simplify it a little, lets say you hire a servant to be at your beck and call, you hire someone who will get you a drink when you want it, and deliver it to you where you want it, your servant cooks your meals and prepares dinner and does all the serving and washing up, does all your laundry and dish’s, pays all the bills, and sets all your clothes in order for you to wear, gets your school / work lunch’s ready, picks up your parents, drops off the children at school, and does every single thing for you and literally is a devout servant serving you in every single way, and always bowing to your every command.
Now we would like to alter the situation a little, in this scenario you are the person being treated like a royal king / queen and you have a loyal servant doing absolutely EVERYTHING for you. This role of the servant slave should be the role of which BOTH the husband AND the wife should be towards each other. The position of the king / queen is NOT there for anyone to take that role, but the position of servant to the king / queen should be the loving role of love and devotion one has towards their husband / wife, that they are willing to take that position of devoting themselves to one another.
A husband and wife should be there for one another, to be there to support and encourage one another, they should always work together with each other, and if any problem or issue should arise and come into the relationship or family, the husband and wife SHOULD NEVER turn on each other or fight or attack one another, but work together on the problem. They should NEVER face each other as in battle in fighting with one another, but together face the problem, they should together work on the problem, NEVER fight or turn on each other, slander or fight one another.
In devotion to one another, to expand on this passage of scripture, could this be something you could be willing and devoting yourself to your husband / wife as stated below ?
Name, I will not always agree with what you say,
but I will always love you
I will not always like what you say,
But I will always cherish and adore you
Many times you may not want to talk to me or have anything to do with me
But I will always be true and faithful to you and be by your side to love and support you
I will not always do what you want or expect of me
But I will never leave you
Many times you maybe upset with me or you may irritate me to wits end
And seeing your tears makes me feel uneasy
But seeing your smile makes me know everything is alright
And with you together always uplift the LORD as No#1 in our lives
There maybe times when life beats on you and wears you down and brings you to discourage
I will always be by your side to support you and love you and encourage you
To be there for you to pick you up when you feel flat and battered down
To support you when you feel weak,
To encourage you when you feel discouraged
To love you when you feel rejected
To put my arms around you when you feel alone
To share my heart felt love and devotion to and for you when you are heart broken
And to always be your friend, pal, lover, husband / wife, confidant and to always be your true devoted supporter
And by the Grace of GOD to be with you in years to come in our twilight years to be there continue to hold your hand and be by your side and continually share our love and devotion to one another through the love and grace of God Our Heavenly Father and Yahshua our friend, Lord and redeemer