Destination Mount Hagen

Toxic Relationships

We would have no problem if everyone would just do as I told them to do ! !


Do you ever hear those around you say that ? do you hear yourself saying this to others around you ?

If only they had of asked me and I would have told them what to do ! !

Do you feel as though you are always being corrected for every single move you make, or that you have to let them know your exact every movement ?

you find that your best is never good enough no matter how hard you try, or how much effort you put into something, there is that other person who is always criticizing you or being very judgemental for what you have said or done ?

Or do you find that you are someone who is doing this to someone else ?

you could be in or creating a toxic relationship for your family / friends.

Walking around egg shells, or avoiding the other person, not saying anything in fear you will get your head bitten off by a judgemental very critical person ?

You purposely avoid contacting or being around someone because of fear of their responses ?

Do you find people avoiding you or not opening up to you or sharing their thoughts or ideas with you ?

You could be in a toxic relationship, or creating a toxic relationship environment for those around you.

The first thing that needs to happen to help resolve the situation is to recognise there is a problem, and not always saying, its them, the other person, its everyone else’s problem and not mine.

If you are in a relationship that has problems then there has to be an acknowledgement that there is a problem.

Sometimes we may not like to admit, but sometimes it could be yourself who has the problem, not always the other person.

Like the Michael Jackson song goes, “if you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change” and  “im starting with the man in the mirror”. ( or woman if female )

if you always seem to be pushing the load up hill and nothing seems to be going right, no matter how many times you have told others what they should do. If every time you keep telling others what to do and getting nowhere, and you are getting upset or stressed out, and others are upset around you, even though you are trying to help them for their own good.


Maybe the time for change starts now, if you don’t seem to be getting anywhere fast. Then perhaps its time fir a different approach.

The different approach is to not fret over every action and decision or word, remember your wisdom came to you over time, you were not born knowing everything, you had to learn and experience things. Allow others to experience and learn from their mistakes.

That’s not to say that if you see someone in immediate danger that you don’t do something to prevent and protect.

But you don’t have to prevent and protect from every disaster. You learned already them things by experience and want to impart your experience and knowledge on them. But let them little things slide, allow them to learn by their mistakes like you learned. Allow tem to make mistakes without commenting on them by saying “dont listen to me then” or “you will be sorry” or “don’t come crying to me when such n such happens” or “i told you so – you should have listened to me”  etc.
REMEMBER, many of the greatest and every day things we use today that come from science and medicine came from mishaps and accidents and mistakes. Without mistakes then many of our modern day medicins would have never been invented.

So although our relationships are not science experiements, we need to know that we dont have to call people up on every mistake or doing, allow them to experience life without having someone constantly looking over their shoulder and telling them they are wrong and should be doing it that other way.

You don’t want to create a toxic environment for either yourself or those around you.

You would want to look back on past memories in the future and have people have fond memories about you, or you would like to have fond memories of other people. Instead of looking back and only remembering how toxic that relationship was.

Sometimes you don’t always have to be right to be right, sometimes being right is when you are wrong, and sometimes it is wrong to be right, for relationship. As I said above, you don’t want memories to be of toxic relationship / toxic memories, you would want to look back on past memories with fondness and love and joy and happiness. And sometimes / more times than not, that is when you allowed a situation to go wrong – for the right reasons.


more to be continued.