And Life Goes On
Life does not always give you what you want. Sometimes, or even many times we are cheated on, or cheated out of something unfairly, or we have been mistreated or abused, in some cases we have been violated. Sometimes by some we never knew before, or sometimes by someone we trusted, or maybe even by someone we loved.
Either way, our security and trust had been broken and violated. Hurting us, scaring us, and damaging.
Thus continual abuse can build mistrust and vulnerabilities and insecurity when around certain people.
Sometimes we want to go and hide in a corner, other times we want to lash out at others because of our hurt and pain. other times we want vengeance upon those who broke our trust or violated us. it can surround us and consume us in body and consume our thoughts.
Worse come to worse when the abuse has been so hurendious that we feel worthless or powerless in our own situation, where others make us feel as though we do not matter and we want to self harm ourselves in some way.
the problem is that the persons and people who bring us this much pain that brings us to want to hurt ourselves do not care about you, or what you do with yourself.
They will continue with their life, and more than likely continue to hurt others in a similar way as to how they hurt you.
we would want the one who hurt us to be held accountable, to admit to what they have done, and to explain why they would do such a thing, to make sense of what happened and why they did it.
unfortunately more times than not this will not happen, and what we yearn for in our hearts will never be fulfilled. more times than not those who hurt us will not only deny what they have done, but will endeavour to assissinate and slander you and your character. those who you may have once trusted and needing to look to for support in your troubled hurting times may also turn their back on you and refuse to accept the truth and end up only adding to the problem and abuse.
so much so you may end up questioning your own value or self worth, or why you even here, or what is the point of all this, or your own purpose.
when you have reached the point where no matter what you say or do, or what you dont say or do just ends up creating more problems with others, and not only are things not getting any better, but only go from worse to worse to even more worse. you never get any good things coming your way and everything is always negative.
You come to the point of what is the point of it all, or why are you even here, because everything you try to do only generates hate and anger or retribution from others, or everythung just always fails and falls in a heap.
where nothing ever goes right, and you wonder why even bother, any why bother careing or bothering anymore when it always ends up with more problems hurt and disasters.
many of us have been in that exact same position before.
although there is nothing in our life we can control and absolutely nothing we can do about it.
the only thing that we can control is how we react and respond to such situations.
although we feel powerless, hopeless and lost and without a paddle, and looking into a life of darkness and dispare.
you see no hope, you see no future, you see no clouds with silver linings.
its hard, truky it is truly very hard, not knowing the future or what is around the future.
small word’s, small meanings, empty words, without hope ?
but the throw away line although meaningless and at the moment in life has no value or relevance, it still holds true is the truth of time, time heals, give it time, know that it may take 3 months, it may take 6 months, it may even take 9 or 12 months.
But just know that time will heal all wounds.
Although with time heals all wounds, this does not mean that there will be no scars from the wounds.
but would be capable to better cope and deal with what has happened.
It does not mean that from time to time that you will not think of the trauma that you have gone through, far from it, but you will be able to cope and be able to live without crippling pain and unending thoughts consuming your every waking moment of life.
all you can do is to take each day as it comes. Knowing that it may take 3 or 6 month to get over the intense pain and hurting or shame because of the abuse, but for now all you can do for now is to just take one day at a time. Even though the problem appears unsomountable, unassailable, too big to deal with. knowing that with time you will be able to get through it. although seemingly pointless and meaningless to you in your life now, just take one moment by moment, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Let tome wprk its seemingly impossible. Know the intensity of hurt your feeling now will not be as intense in 3 or 6 months from now.
There are a couple of ways to help in the healing process, one way to help in the healing process is to think of what were the goals and dreams you had before the problems arised, what you enjoyed or were looking forward to prior to the person or problem came in your life. Your dreams goals and ambitions.
It may seem insignificance at the moment while dealing with a world of hurt and pain, a trivial thing. But continue to keep that thought in mind, each day try to have that thought in mind.
Im sure that will realistically be like 1% compared to the 99% of what you are going through and what you are dealing with. But continue to each day to think about that, remember to have that though in your mind. Something yo use to enjoy and were passionate about. think on these things. Over the coming weeks and months this thought, that 1% will grow to occupy 2%, then 5%, later 10%, then 20% of your thoughts and mind.
The world of hurt and pain will still dominate, and consume your life with what you are dealing with now, but it will not be as intense, 20% of your thoughts will be on a good positive things. and still thinking of this good positive thing while at 20%, before you know it – it will be consuming 33% and then 50% of your waking thoughts.
Its when it gets to 33% and 50% that the pain starts to become manageable, and your life can start to begin again.
The other thing you could try and do would be possibly a little bit more awquid, is to go somewhere and do something you never done before or though you would ever do, surround yourself with different people, join a different group / club, one you have never been to before, somewhere the abuser or problem you dealing with has also no connections to. surround yourself with more positive people, eg, visit and start to attend a Presbyterian or baptist or methodist church you had never been to before, even though you may not be a Presbyterian or baptist etc, and although initially awquid to go to and walk into one of their buildings during their services, see if anyone there will come to you or start to share with you. Maybe visit that church 2 or 3 times and see if any connections happen with any of the people or group there. it could possibly feel very awquid going there for a while, but continue to do so, you may start to build trusting relationships with some of them there, not saying that you will have great and wonderful relations with everyone, or even that you will get to meet everyone, but nust building them few little healthy friendships with someone there.
However if the abuse was at a church by people within the church. what you may consider is likewise start to visit and attend acting drama groups, scrapbooking or arts / craft group. it does not have to be the righ group for you that you think you would like or be interested in. its the getting out and being with a part of a group that you usually would not normally mingle with, and experiencing something different with different people that you otherwise would not normally would mix with, and also bring in fresh healthier relationships with people who will be a positive supporting influence in your life.