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Hi and welcome to thriver tv, the place to break free from narcissistic abuse with quantum tools and understandings.
So todays episode is called “how to outsmart a narcissist” and so many people ask this question. And when we were in the trenchs with a narcissist to when you are in the trenchs with a narcissist, absolutely you’d love to outsmart them. And you know you would love to win, you’d love to beat them because we’ve been hurt, its its really deviating when a narcissist to think that somebody who you know deeply love and cared for you, or someone who is supposed to care and love for you has got the ability to literally throw you under a bus and hurt people want to hurt people because they hurting. Its really really normal to want to strike back and to outsmart a narcissist, or maybe you simply want to do that for your own protection and defense because you feel like you are being ripped apart. And to in all the years that ive been helping people recover from narcissistic abuse, i have never seen one person that is aaerrer fronting or wanting to outsmart a narcissist, ive ive actually never seen one person be able to pull that off. And i want to deeply explain the physiological reasons for that. The physiological reasons for that is because a narcissist is a boundaryless individual who doesn’t have a conscience, who’s got a highly energised eago, and what that means is that if your going into battle with a narcissist at that level, its like fighting somebody who’s got grenades and naparm and and atom bombs strapped to them, its crazy because this person would rather self destruct and take you out with them than have you beat them, because the reson is the narcissist eago is so monstrously, its this incredible insecurity of, if you get the upper hand and if you defeat me, im annihilated, thats what the eago says.
So that means that the narcissist will literally stop at nothing to render you powerless and to get the upper hnd, make sure that he or she wins.
And the narcissist knows the best way to do that, and he or she knows the best way to do that is to line you up with your fear, with your pain, with your insecurities, with the parts of you that are trying to hold the narcissist accountable for your source of love , approval, or security, and the narcissist intimately knows where your weak links are, and how to hit them hard, to take you out of the game. So if you are gonna beat a narcissist when you coming out at from, “i want to outsmart them – i want to win”, from a level of ar the mind of the logical mind or you eago, and where people ar eh can actually or or think that they can do that or or do do that, you know i i would really have to say, will the real narcissist stand up. Because you would have to be capable of, you would have to be capable of boundaryless behaviour, no conscious, being able to play the same playing field as the narcissist. You know so really you got to have a false self the size of a house thats totally annihilated your true self to be able to get into the field and play it out that way. And and if you were playing it out that way, you got eago verses ago. Which is godzilla verses the gorilla, and whoevers got the bigger eago is is going to win.
So unless your eago is totally annihilated your true self, the narcissist is going to come out on top. And you are going to be left reeling, being smashed with the wounds, your original wounds that the narcissist has fact finded, targeted, and knows how to play, your gonna be smashed with a super serving of your own wounds that are gonna be completely energised and blown apart in your emotional body, and your going to be reeling on the ground with those with those wounds if you get into the ring and try and beat a narcissist from a level of understanding unconsciousness. And what i mean by that is when we are in our logic and in our heads and in our mind, we are staying very unconscience of what is going on here, we might even be trying to hit it at a psychological level, but we never really understood the deeper soul level that this is going on.
And at the deeper soul level narcissist is soul contracts. Their aids. Angels In Disguise. That have come into our lives through serendipity, not really, more like synchronize city. There come into our lives for a significant purposes which is to make our unscience wounds conscience so that finally we can go to them, we can claim them, we can feel them and heal them, and not enough level them, because you can not heal what you not prepared to feel. So if we are not self partnered we can’t heal. So we are coming home to ourselves to self partner to feel heal and uplevel these wounds so that we can be free from them. Not free from the narcissist, we’ll do that anyway when we do thats just part and parcel of it. Its really ib be free of ourselves. Now if we havent realized that, if we havent realized that this is a profound soul contract, and if we havent made the unconscious conscious, we will be showing up in an unhealed inner childhood container, which means that we are gonna be holding the narcissist responsible for our wounds, and we are gonna be handing over a lot of fear and pain and insecurities and neediness which hooks us into the narcissist and into the whole dynamic, and we are gonna play out that not winning getting our wounds smashed more and more and more and more open in getting our attention to finally understand that the narcissist is not the healer of our wounds, the narcissist is the messenger of them. Because this is the uncanny irony is that narcissist have the most expert ability to find yer every insecurity you’ve got, every weak link, and target it with full intensity. Now is that ironic or is that actually really ment to be ? I totally believe that its really ment to be. because that’s whats making our unconscious wounds, that we are normal, that we just bumping along in life with them, it brings them up in such a way there is no ignoring them.
So if we understand that this is a soul contract, if we understand that the narcissist is in our life exposing for us our unconscious wounds to make them conscience, then what we will do is we will stop holding the narcissist responsible for them. We’ll stop feeding the narcissist with narcissist supply, which is initially is very very hard to do because when our original deepest most painful wounds are targeted and smashed and there energised, its very hard not to care, and hand over narcissistic supply and fight back and be terrified and incensed and devastated and all those things.
But when we realise whats playing out, then even though we are all those things, we stop hooking into the narcissist and we confront all those things in our body instead, we self partner, we make it all about that. We heal, we find those, we release them, we uplevel them, and then when we do that, we are free from the whole debacle. And its such an irony is that when we’re not realizing that we are in a soul contract with an aid, Angel In Disguise, and we are holding them responsible for our wounds, we want to outsmart them, we are going to try and outsmart them, but we never will, we’ll only get beaten up with our wounds more. It never works. Yet the irony is when we detach and we say your actually the messenger, your’re just the catalyst, you’re the AID. This is all about finally being able to self partner and come home in my own body and clean out my original traumas from my childhood, from my ancestors, from my beliefs, from from the the screwy beliefs of humanity.
You know and when I can uplevel that, its actually not even about you, and my ego is not even invested at all because its not about you. There is no ego in this, there is only conscientiousness, there is only awakening. And when we fully stream into that conscientiousness and awakening, we defeat the narcissist because there is no longer any fear or pain in or ego battle when we’re in their arena, in their vibration for a battle to even take place. We’ve upleveled to another arrr frequency, ana another emotional frequency, another dimension literally which doesn’t include ego’s. so they unravel, and this is what happens is the narcissist in your experience will unravel, come undone, be defeated simply because you’re upleveling and transcending to another reality where they can’t arrr use any fear or pain against you, because we have to understand to defeat a narcissist – what is a narcissist ? a narcissist is a false self, and what is a false self ? a false self is a constructed image that’s not real, that needs energy outside of itself to exist, to operate, it NEEDS your fear – pain and attention, and when you become self partnered and make it all about your own upleveling – you snap all of that off, all of that goes, your healing any of the original wounds that means that you will hooked into a narcissist. You leave it all behind.
So the irony is when we understand a soul contract we have no need to outsmart a narcissist, the only need we have is to evolve ourselves. And then naturally organically we outsmart the narcissist. because we cut off all connection.
So really hope that’s helped, and given you so much food for thought about this. And the truth about what plays out with this.
So if you like my videos, and if there making sense to you, I would love you to like and comment and share and subscribe to my channel, and also to if you want to get even a deeper dive into this stuff you can access my free resources which is an email sequence and all sorts of other things which will really help you arrr free you, and you can do that by clicking the button that appears on this video.
And I would love you for the even deeper more profound self partnering work to come into my next 3 keys to thriving after narcissistic abuse 3 hour teleclass where you get to experience all of this, what it feels like to detach, what it feels like to come home into your body, for the obsession and the pain to drop and your power to come back and for you to move back up into states and ways of being and thriving that you were never able to access even before being narcissistically abused, even if this is all you have ever known since a child, I promise you, so you can do that by clicking the button that appears on this video.
So that’s it for this episode, so keep smiling, keep heeling, and keep thriving, because there is nothing else to do.
lots of love, bu bye.
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