To Be Continued, , ,
What is narcissism ? Its a psychology mental disorder. The number of people who suffer from this disorder has significantly grown in numbers over the past few decades.
We will not be going over the traits of narcissism or what makes someone a narcissist as I am sure we all come across a number of people in our lives with narcissistic traits / disorder, and there is plenty of resources about narcissistic disorders.
Narcissist come in all difference sizes and in relations. They could be your mother or father, a brother or sister, a wife or husband, a son or daughter, they could be a neighbour or a work colligue or a boss.
An individual who has the traits of narcissism can be and are very often controlling – manipulative – deceitful and very dangerous – and have zero empathy for their targets.
Narcissist could display their narcissistic traits to some people but not others ( depending on who the narcissist targets ).
The life of Narcissism. The growing trend amongst many people in the modern world. A growth of people with the feel and belief of superiority and entitlement and as though other people do not matter, a feeling of the unworthiness of decency or respect to others and to over inflate their own self worth at the expense of others.
When one becomes the target of a narcissist it is never truly safe for that individual.
Narcissism, unable to acknowledged things of their fault, unable to acknowledge pain and suffering of those they hurt or give a true from their heart apology.
An individual who has a narcissism disorder will have no problem lying about someone else, they will think nothing and care nothing about getting someone else into serious trouble, or destroying their lives.
People with narcissistic disorders can be violent and manipulative, infact they can be masters of minipulation, and can be very dangerous individuals.
A narcissist would have family who love them very much and would do anything for them, however the narcissist would care nothing for them in return, the narcissist would think nothing and care nothing about causing physical or mental or psychological pain for the other individual.
So much would they care nothing for the other individual, even if the other individual is bending over backwards to help and provide or support the one with the narcissistic disorder, the narcissist would still fully engage in slandering them to everyone they know, even to go so far as accuse the other individual of committing serious crimes the other individual could never do or think of, even if it the complete destruction of marriages or friends or employment, or even sending an innocent person to jail for something they never said or done.
A narcissist would not care anything about it, as long as they think it may show themselves to be a better person or victim to someone else, they would care nothing for the destroyed life of the other individual.
Of course a narcissist would think nothing for this, empathy is not something they would have or experience.
How could this be ? Remember its a mental disorder overwhelming majority of narcissist will never recover from and will be with them for the rest of their lives.
They have no compassion or empathy or care for others.
How can this be ? That part of their brain that deals with emotions and empathy and compassion is severely under developed or not there at all. They could see someone suffer great physical pain but feel absolutely nothing for them whatsoever.
Imagine it this way, imagine someone who was born with no arms and no legs. Then tell them to explain to you from their own personal experience what the feeling feels like to knock your elbo funny bone, or to run on grass and kick a football or what it is like to climb a tree or stub your toe as you are walking. They can not because what is needed to experience them things does not exist, they have no arms or legs.
Likewise someone suffering from narcissist disorders would not be able to empathise or feel compassion or return love because that part of the brain which process that is not there and not working.
They can act out something and pretend because they know the right way to respond, but it is not something they can experience first hand in themselves.
You may love a narcissist with all your heart and with all your heart want them to stop hating and stop fighting and stop lying about you, with all your heart you would do anything for this narcissist of yours to stop being so angry and abusive. Yet year after year it is always the same angry abusive and slanderous hate and lies continually directed towards you from this narcissist in your life.
Unfortunately many people have spent years and many decades living with narcissist which has crippled their will to live and despise their own life and will to live due to the never ending assaults – slander and attacks by their narcissist. They hope day after day and year after year that their narcissist will wake up one day and realise what they have done and what they are doing and stop all their abuse and see them as a real living and caring man or woman so they could have a loving caring and empathetic compassionate relations. But unfortunately time and time again they are constantly ley down and disappointed and heart broken and destroyed again by their narcissist who again continually speaks down to them and berates and slanders and insults them.
Yet they still hope more that they will stop and change their ways and acknowledge them and what they are doing – yet only to be disappointed yet again.
So what to do about it ? How to survive a toxic narcissistic relation with someone who is only always out to attack and manipulate you ?
One of the first things to realise is unfortunately more times than not that someone who has a narcissistic disorder will never acknowledge they have a problem and will never change and will always blame someone else for the problems, and if you are in relations with a narcissist, then they will blame you and say you are the problem. Also if you happen to be a narcissist and reading this and you see these narcissistic tendencies disorder in yourself, then you will deflect and focus on and blame the individual man / woman / child who you have targeted your narcissistic rage towards for the problems.
So how do we solve and cure narcissism ? Well you dont. Unfortunately there is no cure, remember its a mental disorder. Apart of their brain does not work like it should.
No matter what you do or say to try and show or prove your love and compassion towards the narcissist to have a loving caring relation with them, you only always set yourself up for disappointment and failure and heart break, as once again the narcissist shows they do not care about you and have absolutely no regards for what you have said or done, or what you are going through or feeling, or your thoughts / desires or ideas. You only continue to get more of the same what they have been giving you in the past with no change or acknowledgement.
So what to do or say to get through to someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder ? Nothing.
What ? You maybe asking. Surely there can not be nothing. You are hoping and wanting a normal decent relations with this Individual with all your heart, even possibly for pure and sincere reasons.
This may possibly be one of the hardest things to accept – especially if the narcissist is a wife or son or husband or daughter.
Once you come to the acknowledgement and acceptance that the narcissist will never change and accept that they will continue to always refuse to acknowledge the truth of what is happening. Then the sooner you can start the healing process of yourself. It will involve you first letting go of your hope and expectations for the narcissist to be able to acknowledge you and recipitation of your of your hopes and feeling towards them.
Then by any chance you are a narcissist and you can at least acknowledge you are a narcissist or have narcissistic traits / personality disorder, then you too can work on yourself and parts of you that you do not like about yourself.
To Be Continued, , ,